Commitment

Fear of commitment

Fear of commitment is really about fear of rejection.

If you don't commit, you don't feel committed.

If you don't feel committed, then you can't get rejected.

Even if you get rejected, you won't feel rejected.

Is that why it's so easy to say yes until it really matters?

Is that why it's easier to have many superficial relationships
than one serious, committed relationship?

It's like putting all your eggs in one basket, or worse,
having just one egg.

If it doesn't hatch, then you feel truly rejected.

Or is fear of commitment actually about fear of regret?

The song "It's sad to belong to someone else
when the right one comes along" says it perfectly.

What if someone better comes along? How will you really know?

The answer is faith. You believe it, and you trust your own judgement.

Those  who are still afraid to commit,
will just have to learn to commit to theirrselves first.

Until one does that, one will never truly commit to others.

It is really amazing how children, how innocent and young they may be can certainly shed light in certain things that us as adults take forgranted. I had to post this as this has put a smile on my face, I hope that your day will be brightened as well.

A Group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4-8 olds, "What does love mean?" The answers they got were broader anddeeper than anyone could have imagined. See what you think...

What is Love?

"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her
toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even
when his hands got arthritis too. That's love."
Rebecca- age 8

When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You
just know that your name is safe in their mouth."
Billy - age 4

"Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne
and they go out and smell each other."
Karl - age 5

"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French
fries without making them give you any of theirs."
Chrissy -age 6

"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired."
Terri - age 4

"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip
before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK."
Danny - age 7

"Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing,
you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are
like that. They look gross when they kiss"
Emily - age 8

"Love is what's in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening
presents and listen."
Bobby - age 7 (Wow!)

"If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who
you hate,"
Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka's on this planet)

"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it
everyday."
Noelle - age 7

"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still
friends even after they know each other so well."
Tommy - age 6

"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at
all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was
the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore."
Cindy - age 8

"My mommy loves me more than anybody . You don't see anyone else kissing
me to sleep at night."
Clare - age 6

"Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken."
Elaine-age 5

"Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is
handsomer than Robert Redford."
Chris - age 7

"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone
all day."
Mary Ann - age 4

"I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old
clothes and has to go out and buy new ones."
Lauren - age 4

"When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars
come out of you." (what an imagination) Karen - age 7

"You really shouldn't say 'I love you' unless you mean it. But if you
mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget."
Jessica - age 8

 

And the final one -- Author and lecturer Leo Buscaglia once talked about
a contest he was asked to judge. The purpose of the contest was to find
the most caring child. The winner was a four year old child whose next
door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife.
Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman's
yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked
what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, "Nothing, I just
helped him cry"

"You may give children your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth."

-- Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

Dear ----------,

I thank God for giving me the opportunity to know
A wonderful person like you
Thank you so much for everything that we shared
Although it was just for a short span of time,
I have learned a lot from you and you’ve taught me
And made me feel things that I never would have thought
Was possible. I’ll be forever grateful for that.

I’ll admit, in the past few days after we
Finally agreed to go our separate ways,
I was wishing that we could get back together…Hoping…
However, I now realize that this was just wishful thinking
And that it’s time for me to move on
Just as you have obviously already done

I just want you to know what’s inside my heart
I might not be given another chance to say this
I never imagined that it would end like this….
That we had to part ways… but there were differences…
Both of us did not want to compromise

I hope that you wont think what I felt for you wasn’t real
For it has been with you that I have first felt and
Experienced what love was,
However, we agreed that we would be both hurting
Ourselves if we followed our hearts when our mind
Tells us otherwise

Goodbye , its hard to say it
Goodbye, It hurts to realize that even though
How strong the feelings that we had for each other were,
Our minds and our hearts just couldn’t meet
Maybe we just weren’t meant to be

There will be a point in time when someone will come into
Your life, someone whom is destined for you.
A love that you need not “look” for 
But rather someone you couldn’t help falling for despite all her idiosyncrasies
And I only hope that she will love you as much as I did.

Remember that no matter what happens,
I’m your friend, and you’ll be one special person that will
Always remain dearest in my heart
I’ll always be here…just a call, text, or email away
And if you feel like you want to hang out or just need
Someone to talk to, give me a holler.

Thank you. You’ve certainly given me one more reason
As to why life is certainly worth living…I shall miss you


Besos y Embrazos,

Gem

everyday that i live, i a start a new chapter in lifes journey.. sooner or later, youll understand why or how..

The purpose of our journey of life is the journey itself - not to get somewhere. We already are somewhere, exactly where we need to be and to go forward from. Its not about destination or ending point, but about destiny, which is an eternal going forward that is already here, all along the way. It is our manifest destiny to live and learn and grow throughout eternity. Forms change, but life continues.

Life is often described
as a journey of discovery and growth, and the function of the journey is to learn through experiences.. The goal of our journey through life is to learn the lessons that lifes challenges, problems, and adventures offer us. The main idea is not necessarily to get it right or get it wrong but simply to get it. Usually it takes a while to get it. The majority of the worlds religions believe in some form of reincarnation or eternal life, that we return for many lifetimes on earth. I hope so it seems unimaginable to get it all in one short life. But whether its one lifetime or many, we get lots of opportunities to learn each of the lessons, especially the important ones, the ones our soul came here for. How can we spot which ones those are? Easy. They keep coming up.


When we learned our ABCs and the multiplication tables, we had to repeat them many many times, before we really knew them. This is one of the ways we learn by repetition. Thats why those same old self defeating, self limiting patterns keep turning up to challenge us again and again. To graduate, to move to the next level.


People pleaser. Its about not being willing to stand up and say No. Or Yes. Or whatever I really wanted. Its about being afraid to tell the real truth because I thought it was not what the other person wanted to hear, and if I gave them the wrong answer I was afraid Id have to pay a terrible price because of it. Well, this is an understandable fear, for all of us. Its a kind of dishonesty for self defense. And yet, if we never show our true self to anyone, no one can ever really know us, or really love us. They can only love or not love, respect or not respect, the public version of us. After lots of disappointments and failures I eventually learned that when I practice finding a quiet appropriate way to speak the truth as I see it, and ask for what I really want instead of what I think I might have the best chance to get, I end up stronger. It wasnt easy, but like anything else, it gets easier with practice. And it does work.

I know Im growing in my life. I can tell because now Im starting to see the pattern sooner, and I can say to myself : Hold it! Whats really going on here?. I have the choice to break free of it before it reaches the crash point.

This works much better. It is possible - there is the choice to change the course of things and events by changing my relationship to them. I cant force them to change, but I can choose to change how I see things in relation to the person I want to be, how I want to see myself. I can recognize that my opinion of me is much more powerful in my life than their opinion of me. Then, amazingly, things start to change themselves.


The misery thought cant do anything but hurt me, only now its not that person or event thats hurting me, its ME thats hurting me. One thing I know for sure : We are what we believe we are. When we choose to be helpless, by allowing ourselves to believe we are helpless, in an instant, we become helpless. If we believe we are victims of other peoples influence, we will be.

Like it or not, we are who we are, doing what we do, and making our way through this life. Other people are not us, and we are not them, and yet we are all expressions of God. Different as we are, the rules are the same for everybody. We have been put here together to learn from each other. While we are here, we are the teacher as well as the student. And so am I, and so are you.

We either take possession of our own life and live it with honesty, responsibility and awareness, or we dont. We must make mistakes, thats how we learn. Life is not always easy, and living a life of honesty is a big responsibility with big rewards. Life can be simple, but also terribly complex, and always involves endless learning.

To really love life and live it with spirit and joy, takes courage, commitment, and conscious co creation with God. It is a wonderful journey that never ends, and weve all got a ticket to ride.

  Some of us have set for ourselves certain categories as what to look for in the perfect partner... one might say that their ideal guy/gal should be tall, dark, and handsome/drop dead gorgeous. Others may say that its the personality that counts. Of course, to each his own right? However, there are a couple of things that one should look out for no matter how different our "type" may be.

i found this series of advertisements in a couple of  vogue magazines and found myself  fascinated by it . Hope you enjoy reading these witticisms as i did. 
truly food for thought, sweethearts.

your right hand wins them.

Jessica Zafra

    This is not an article about J. Zafra. The J. Zafra that many people have considered a weirdo, with her famous ranting critiques about films, life, animals, and people...as well as aliens. (A hallucinating-potentate-weirdo-wanna-be at that). I just want to share to you, an excerpt from one of her articles of her TWISTED 3 Book, entitled "Horrible Horoscopes".

   Aries the Jerk is domineering and egotistical, but at least he's not torpe. He dashes headlong into romance and adventure, though one wishes he would look first. If he likes you, he will not only pursue you openly, he will naturally assume that you are insane about him. Fiery and testosteronic, Aries thinks he is the master of the universe. Dealing with him requires massive doses of Tylenol.

    Taurus the Dweeb  is practical and obstinate. Once he decides on an objective, nothing can sway him from it. He can be the Suitor from Hell, butting away at resistance until you crumble and say yes. He can also be incredibly dense and not notice that your neckline and hemline are one. Taurus is hardworking and will probably be rich. He'd better be, because he likes to be pampered. All the Taurus guys I've ever been interested in are short.

    Gemini the Starlet  is witty and well-versed on the issues of the day. His charm almost makes up for the fact that he is a cheapskate. Gemini is starved for attention, and will do anything to get it: in his mind he is a celebrity talk show host, and you are his guests. Gemini is liked by both men and women, basically because he is bisexual.

    Cancer the Weenie  is highly emotional and clingy. He makes great demands on your time. He takes everything personally, and is given to moping and whining. Cancer has an overwhelming need to be needed. After a while he turns into your mother.

     Leo the Dork  truly believes he is the center of the universe. When he walks into a room, he expects everyone to fall to her knees and pay homage. Everything will be sunny as long as you worship him. He is so sure that he is the most desirable man present that many women are similarly deluded. Afterwards they feel like having their heads examined.

   Virgo the Weezeris king of the fussbudgets, obsessed with details. He is so busy planning the wedding, right down to the typefaces on the placecards, that he fails to notice that you've run off with the caterer. Virgo is a hypochondriac. In order to bag him, you must remember the magic words: "Darling, have you taken your vitamins?"

     Libra the Wuss is the eternal diplomat: he will tell you exactly what you want to hear. Someone marked that Libra loves humanity; it's the human beings he can't stand. He is usually attractive, so you might forgive him for being a cold-blooded user.

   Scorpio the Prick is reputed to be a sex machine, but what he's really into is screwing with your mind. A total perv, he expresses his love by devising nasty little torments. Insanely jealous and possessive, he has a way of dredging up your dark side. You may kill him if he doesn't kill you first.

   Sagittarius the Bozo is loads of fun. He is open and honest to the point of tactlessness. He is the kind of person who will say, "Who farted?" at dinner with the Queen of England. He often finds himself at the center of controversy, but manages to extricate himself because he is a lucky bastard. Hard to catch, and terminally unfaithful.

   Capricorn the Drip is serious, tenacious, and frosty. He is not much fun to be around -- he tends to be a bummer, although he does loosen up with age. He is conservative and cautious. He disapproves of public displays of affection. Often, he turns into your father.

     Aquarius the Airhead  is a friend to everyone. He is so friendly that you might think he is romantically-inclined, and he is usually not. An idealist, he likes concocting grand schemes that never achieve reality. Whimsical and prone to be a space cadet: the lights are on, but nobody's home. He gives the impression that he is not completely here; you want to knock on his head and say, "Hello? Hello?"

     Pisces the Sucker is highly imaginative and sensitive. He is also vague and utterly useless at situations that require decisive action. He is sweet, kind, and gentle. Translation: He is easily fooled, so everyone takes advantage of him. What he really wants is someone to powder his butt and change his diapers. You don't date a Pisces, you adopt him.